Finally here...

I've been in Los Angeles for six days now and though a lot has happened and I'm still processing quite a bit of it, I do want to share a few experiences and thoughts I've had so far.

I arrived in Los Angeles at 11:00am on Wednesday and met up with two of the other interns at the airport and we were then picked up by our program coordinator and taken to our orientation retreat at the retreat center at the Cathedral Center of St. Paul. We were the first three interns there and so we wandered around the neighborhood (Echo Park area) for a while. It was so wonderful to finally meet the other interns. We spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other and going over program information and then a late night chat.

Thursday, my first full day in Los Angeles, started bright and early. Along with the other Common Ground intern, I had to go to the Office of Aids Programs and Policy to take a pre-test to be fully admitted to counseling/testing training. We were given bus directions and tokens by our program director the night before, with more instructions on where to meet the rest of the interns when we were finished. We set off early the next morning (8:18) to make the "ten minute walk" to our bus stop for our 8:33 bus. Unfortunately, the ten minute walk was really a fifteen minute walk and we arrived at the stop just in time to see our bus driving off. EUIP Life Lesson #1: Always allow plenty of time for travel in LA. We waited and took the next bus fifteen minutes later, but were very worried we'd be unable to take the test and have to wait for the next testing session which would have meant we'd miss much of the day's orientation activities. Luckily, we were still allowed to take the test (and we felt slightly comforted by the fact that someone walked in fifteen minutes later than us!). We passed with flying colors and then set off on the next leg of our adventure, meeting the other interns down on Skid Row.

Down on Skid Row, we had a sort of orientation to the area by a couple of social services workers from the area. They told us (and showed us) a lot about low income housing and different shelters and clinics that are on Skid Row. It is my understanding that LA's Skid Row has one of the largest stable homeless populations in the country (7,000-8,000). We had the opportunity to see a low-income housing building and meet with the manager to talk about what he does and how he runs his building. We also visited Los Angeles Mission and a brand new clinic on Skid Row. It was an eye-opening experience to see such extreme poverty in the city. I actually saw a drug deal take place only about five feet from where I was standing, and had people scream about the evils of white people as we walked by on the sidewalk. Although it's been a few days since this took place, I'm still having a very difficult time processing the experience of spending the morning on Skid Row. Throughout this entire experience, I've been really struggling with feelings of extreme guilt about my white privilege. I'm trying to work through those feelings because I know that simply feeling guilty is neither healthy nor productive. The experience on Skid Row, though, was difficult because we were a predominately white, middle class group being led around a poverty-stricken urban area. I think it was important to see Skid Row, but I really just felt like I was on a campus tour back in the days when I was looking at colleges. I realize that any of us probably would have looked completely out of place, but I still felt uncomfortable.

Despite a rough morning on Skid Row, the rest of the day's orientation was really great. We spent the afternoon and early evening going through information about our living situation, appointing different housemates to different jobs which will rotate throughout the year, including chaplain and meal coordinator. We spent the rest of the night just sitting around and talking with each other around an outdoor propane campfire on the roof of the retreat center.

On Friday we had our Americorps day with mounds of paperwork and then moved into our apartment! We live on the second floor of the parish house at St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Hollywood. Over the past few weeks, the members of the church worked so hard to re-do the apartment, which had been church offices until the beginning of August. They painted, re-did all of the hardwood floors, and put in a beautiful kitchen, as well as a bit of other decorating. We spent most of the weekend settling in and were officially welcomed to the church on Sunday. There was a great bilingual service (there are usually two - one English and one Spanish) and a lovely potluck. They even made us care packages with a homemade guide of things to do in the area, a t-shit and CD, some goodies, and beautiful stationary. They have also given us tons of food, including a lot of great produce and several bags of groceries to start out.

Today was my first day of training for my job as an HIV tester/counselor. Some of the training was a little boring, but it was pretty good overall and I definitely learned a lot. The day ended with our OraQuick Advance HIV Proficiency Exam. In short, we had to perform five HIV antibody tests on some controls, document them, pass an observation, and then interpret the results from pictures of other tests to see if they were negative, preliminary positive (positive results always mean a second test will be done), or invalid. It was a bit stressful, but I survived day one. We had a little bit of review homework, which I just finished, but it wasn't too much. It's just helping to reinforce what I've been learning...

One exciting thing about today was that I took the subway! It was my first time on the LA subway system. Though not too extensive, it did seem pretty nice. In fact, I'd heard so many terrible things about LA public transit but I've been generally pretty happy with it so far.

I'm going to try and post a bit more often now that I'm here and getting settled, so hopefully I'll have some new and exciting things to share soon! Thanks for reading...


Peace,
Jordan

Grace not Perfection

One of the purposes of taking this year off from school was to give me time to complete the candidacy process to become a pastor with the ELCA. There were two initial goals here. One, I wanted to gain real life ministry experience that can simply not be gained in a classroom. This experience will hopefully serve as part of the discernment process for me and give me a chance to fully explore some of my ministry options. Second, there is a lot of paperwork and interviews and such that goes into becoming a pastor and it was simply more than I could complete during my senior year of college (though I have a new respect for those who did complete it during that time).

It turns out that the ELCA does not just allow anyone with a Masters of Divinity become a pastor. I suppose that’s for the best and there is certainly good reason to ensure that modern pastors will actually be able to care for their church and community. Nonetheless, there is a lot of work that has to be done before I even begin seminary. I have already completed a four-page application with an attached six-page essay. I completed a twenty-five page psychological autobiography and health questionnaire and took numerous personality profiles and tests. My most recent experience culminated the psychological portion of my evaluation process.

Last week I spent three full days (essentially from 9-5 on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday) at the Midwest Ministry Development office as part of the group Group Candidate Program. What does that mean? Well that is an excellent question. And since you are still reading at this point I am operating under the assumption that you want to know. The Group Candidate Program is an evaluation that is designed to 1) save various churches money by doing a group process rather than individual and 2) allow for group interaction as part of the learning process. Since that doesn’t actually answer your question, I spent three days looking at who I was and how that fit into my picture of what my ministry was. I did this with five other future seminarians (3 other Lutherans at 2 United Church of Christ). We looked in depth at our Myers-Briggs tests as well as the Wagner Enneagram Personality Styles Scale (I really just like to say that one fast so it sounds more impressive). These allowed the group to look at how we interact with other people and offer feedback to one another on how this may positively or negatively affect our ministries.

The psychology major in me actually enjoyed most of it. The masochist in me particularly enjoyed the opportunity to take the MMPI-2 (Minnesota Multi-Phasic Inventory- Second Version, another fun one to say quickly and impressively). The MMPI is composed of 567 true or false questions. It seems simple enough until you are about an hour and a half in and you realize you still aren’t done. Typically the MMPI is used in clinical assessment to determine what, if any, psychological concerns the subject may have. If you have ever been psychologically evaluated for a court trial you would have taken the MMPI. It allows psychologists to test for depression, psychosis, phobia, mania, delusions, and a wide array of other concerns. It also contains validity scales that allow psychologists to see if the subject is lying, exaggerating, or underplaying their symptoms. It is all very statistical and I don’t know exactly how it works. Anyway, after 2 hours of testing and an hour session with a psychologist it turns out that I’m not crazy. In fact, despite my sister’s opinion, it may even be said, especially by a psychologist that was evaluating me, that I’m a “well-adjusted young adult.”

I have since had some time to reflect on this and the importance of this process. This psychological evaluation comes as a burden to many who are going through the candidacy process. I heard a number of horror stories going into the process that made me fairly nervous about the whole thing. Pastors who said that their words were misinterpreted to mean things that they didn’t intend or that the counselors were just digging for issues where there weren’t any. I don’t doubt that their experiences were legitimate. Perhaps the process has changed since their day. Certainly there are at least new counselors working here. Nonetheless, I think it is important that we as future pastors take the time to evaluate our own lives past and present.

Pastors do not need to be perfect, praise God. If we expected perfection we wouldn’t have any pastors left. But pastors should be in-tune with themselves and their own experiences. If a pastor is unaware of their tendency to be overly extraverted then they may actually be scaring people off without knowing it. A more serious example would be a pastor that went through a divorce without really dealing with and understanding their emotions and experiences attached to that. How would this pastor be expected to counsel a couple going through marital problems or even a couple looking to get married? Divorce, or other tragic experiences, should not exclude anyone from the candidacy process but it is important that we seek healing and understanding in our own lives before we try to pass that healing and understanding on to others.

Christ does not demand perfection. While we were still sinners he died for us (Romans 5:8). And it is by grace, not our own works, that we are saved through faith and this is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8-10). But to serve God’s people we must serve ourselves. The ever famous, though perhaps clichéd, analogy of a cup comes to mind. We, if you imagine our lives as cups, have a limited amount of water to pour out. Worse yet if our water is tainted by our own lives we will simply be pouring tainted water out to the children. But Jesus says in John that he is the living water that does not end and whoever drinks of it will never thirst (John 4). When we focus our lives in the grace and forgiveness of God we are overfilled with pure clean water that runs to all of those around us. This is the call for pastors, and frankly all children of God. Not perfection, but an awareness of our own brokenness and a dependence of the forgiveness and strength of God! In this we will serve His Kingdom through the works of our hands. For if we focus ourselves on his grace how can we stop from showing this grace to those who need it most.

One week before school

Buenos dias everyone!


I am writing this entry on a friend's computer while drinking some raspberry tea on a comfy brown couch in McAllen, Texas. My friends have kindly offered their couch as a place for me to sleep while I am waiting for my teaching assignment. For all of you who went to Cedar Point at the beginning of this summer, I can only describe these past few months as a roller coaster ride. Even though I graduated with majors in Organizational Communication and Spanish (Religion minor... thanks Dr. Bussie and Amanda), I had never taken an education class in my four years of college. For the past three months, I have been learning to be a teacher.




My commitment to social justice has lead me to Teach for America, an organization that works to close the academic achievement gap in the United States. Even though our country has the capacity to give every child an excellent education, students from poorer more rural/urban districts tend to leave school at a much lower academic level than their peers in wealthier districts. The mission of Teach for America is to send capable college graduates into under serviced areas. The graduates are trained to be effective teachers in the conditions of their region and it is our charge to empower students to make significant gains in the classroom. If we do our jobs, the students in our classes will grow over one academic level in only one school year. In other words, we are trying to help our students catch up to the academic level of other districts. (To read more about Teach for America and their mission you should check out, teachforamerica.org)


I began my journey with Teach for America, June 1, 2009. I traveled from Sandusky, Ohio to McAllen, Texas for a week of Induction. For that first week, the 100 new corp members and I were introduced to the area and the Teach for America staff that will be our support for the next two years. The area is beautiful and we were able to kayak on the Rio Grande and visit South Padre Island. My friend Kate took some excellent pictures of our afternoon at South Padre Island. During the school year, I expect the Island to be a great place to meet with friends to play volleyball and ride the waves. There is a great surfing volunteer group that meets to clean up the beach and my friends and I expect to help with the effort and hopefully get a few tips about surfing.


Sunset on the beach.



There weren't too many people on the beach that day.

I played volleyball for about 2 hours with a group of fellow TFAers.

I can already tell it's going to be a great two years.

From Induction, we caravaned up to Houston for five weeks of intense teacher training. Every morning at 6:00, the 830 corp members would head down the stairs of Moody Towers (a dorm at the University of Houston) and grab some breakfast. From there, we grabbed a packed lunch on our way out to catch the bus to our schools. I was placed in a school called Deady Middle School. For four weeks, my co-teacher Michelle and I were in charge of 1st period sixth grade reading. I would teach first period then spend the rest of the school day in sessions that taught me how to be a teacher. Around 4:00 p.m., the buses would take us back to Moody Towers and the rest of the evening was spent in sessions or lesson planning for the next day.

Even though the month in Houston was a bit stressful at times, I really loved all of the people I met. It is great to be in an environment where the majority of people are fighting for the same social change. There is a welcoming and supportive culture to Teach for America and I have met some truly wonderful people during my short time with the organization. In my collaborative group at Deady, I got to know people from all over the country. I worked with corp members that will be teaching in Hawaii, Houston, and the Mississippi Delta. We had an amazing advisor who was able to guide me through the tough days and still has been helping me now that I am in the Rio Grande Valley. Our group was very connected and there was a community feel that made me feel much better during the stressful days.

Michelle and I working hard on our last day of teaching.

My collaborative group during Institute Training.

I am hoping to visit some of these amazing friends during my two years in TFA.

More than just the other teachers, I really loved my students this summer. There were certainly difficult days where I learned what not to do... but by the end of the four weeks, it was tough to say good-bye to the kids. Many of them were English Language Learners who had learned Spanish as their primary language. Reading was something that many of them considered to be frustrating. However, because of Michelle's awesome contacts, we were able to get a donated class set of Holes by Louis Sacher. The students were really excited to be able to take the books home at the end of the summer. Many of them had either seen the movie or read the book in Spanish so they were really interested in the reading. My favorite moments of the summer were when the students were visibly excited about learning and reading. I hope I will be able to re-produce that excitement with my class in the RGV (Rio Grande Valley).

The halls of Deady Middle School.

After five weeks of intense training, I hopped on another plane back to Sandusky, Ohio. I spent two weeks with my family, meeting newborn cousins and just enjoying the company of my family. With planning for my upcoming class and trip to Texas, those two weeks flew by and before I knew it, mom and I packed my itty-bitty car for our cross country trip to Texas. We took our time and made it to McAllen in three days. It was a great trip seeing the country with my mom. We listened to books on tape, survived tornado watches in Tennessee, hiked in Hot Springs National Park and listened to some great music on our way to southern Texas. As always, it was tough to say good-bye, but both mom and I will be busy with our classes this year.

Staying in McAllen has been wonderful for the past two weeks. I have been couch surfing at an apartment where three of my close Teach for America friends live. Even though Teach for America guarantees that every corp member will have a job, it can take a few months for every person to be placed in a school. Out of the 100 members, there are still about 9 who do not know exactly where they will be teaching. At the current moment, I think I will be teaching 6th grade writing at Besteiro Middle School in Brownsville. I have been recommended for hire but the district has over-hired teachers so I am still waiting to hear if I will be teaching there. If I don't get the job, I could be teaching any subject from grade4-grade8. During this period of uncertainty, I have been tempted to be a bit impatient but those feelings are easily washed away by the kindness and support of my friends and family here and afar. I know that being in Texas will be a great opportunity to practice living in a way that promotes social justice. So, until I hear more news about my job... hasta luego y que todo vaya bien!

-Megan

Three and a half weeks to go...

When I first started the application process for Episcopal Service Corps, the idea of doing something completely new for a year seemed great but yet very far removed from my life at the time. I started the application in January and so the possibility of moving to a new city was still eight months away. By the time I finished the application, went through a month of interviews with the various programs, and decided where I would be headed, it was already late April but yet it was still over four months until my program would begin. Now, though, it's a mere three and a half weeks until I hop on a plane to Los Angeles. It seems completely surreal that the summer has flown by so quickly and that I'll be moving across the country at the end of this month, but I'm really excited.

One thing adding to the excitement is that I now know where my work placement will be. I'll be working at an HIV community center in Santa Monica called Common Ground. My position will be as a prevention advocate, so I'll be doing a lot of health education type things, including working with the Teen Peer Education Program and the Homeless Youth Prevention Education program. Additionally, I'll be doing some HIV testing and counseling, some beach outreach, and whatever else they tell me to do. The magnitude of what I'm going to be doing has started to sink it, but I'm unbelievably excited. I'm sure that it won't be easy, but I am sure that it will be such a rewarding, educational experience and will really help me to learn to better love and serve everyone I meet.

One really cool thing about my job is that I will have another one of my housemates working with me. We are both prevention advocates, though our jobs entail a few different things (I'm working more with youth/young adults and he'll be doing more general work), I think it will be nice to have another intern with me at Common Ground. Additionally, I've had the chance to talk to Common Ground's current EUIP intern a couple of times and that has been really helpful. She's going to be staying in LA and has told me they she is always there if I need to talk about work or EUIP, or just have someone to hang out around LA. It's really nice and reassuring to know that I'll already have a bit of a support system established in LA, even before I'm there.

I'll keep y'all updated as my move gets closer and I get settled in LA, but for now...


Peace,
Jordan