Long time, no post. Sorry about the delay.
LVC is officially in full swing. We began two weeks ago now with our 124-LVCers converging on DC for a week long orientation. We had a very full week of community building, anti-racism training, personal safety training, and discussions about sustainability/simplicity. We got there on Sunday night and left on Saturday afternoon.
Then Sunday morning (after a 17.5 hour train ride!) we arrived in Chicago. We've now been here a week. We have been given time to settle into our new homes, communities, and city. We were able to see everyone in our house's placements (which was really interesting and gave us a solid framework). We officially started work on Thursday, but I haven't been back to my placement yet. I've spent those two days in training for LI-Heap (Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program) which begins on September 1. My first day at Howard Area Community Center will be on Monday! Wish me luck! Today we had a potluck at the lake with all of the Chicago Area LVCers (there are 13 of us in three houses: Casa Romero, Sojourner Truth and Carter Heywood).
It's all been good and overwhelming and about just settling in. But I really wanted to share some thoughts about something we discussed in our two days of anti-racism training: White Culture.
First this poem was shown to us and I wanted to share it with you.
It's called "Southern Heritage" by Jason Carney.
In light of this and my anti-racist training. I am a white American. I know very few details about my heritage outside of a few legendary references (I may have some Native American and French), but my ancestry has never been chronicled. Throughout the years I have felt a little lost, lacking true identity and culture. I have always prized cultures where there is a strong community, a strong sense of identity attached to belonging in that community. I have always felt a sense of loss at my own lack of culture. However, I've never been forced, or even asked, to look at my true culture within the United States: White Culture.
___________
I wrote that several months ago and never really got around to finishing the post. Primarily because I think I have yet to find a true answer as to what white culture is and how I fit into that legacy.
Having recently returned from Fall Retreat, these thoughts are forefront in my mind again. We were once again asked to revisit our anti-racism training and to continue the process we began in D.C.. I am struggling to claim an anti-racist identity. I am struggling not to be lost in the truly terrible aspects of my white culture. I have been overwhelmed by my own _____participation? benefits? role?
What I am failing to articulate as clearly as I would like is this: I am struggling. I am struggling with the guilt I have for being a white United States of American, the difficulty I have in reclaiming a white culture that can be positive and honoring to all, and I have yet to find a way to live into an anti-racist identity.
Peace,
Amanda
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