Many great insights were passed on to the 50 YAGMs during our Orientation in Chicago at the end of August. Advice, discussions, counsel, and poignant theology made our week with presenters, alumni, and Global Mission personnel such a worthwhile week. A week for which now, a month into my experience, I’m so grateful. I’d like to share a story of how one such piece of insight has slapped me on the face as I experienced its relevance this week in England.
There are a variety of misconceptions about mission work. We discussed many of these notions at orientation as a way to dissect what it is we are (and aren’t) doing this year as Young Adults in Global Mission. A misconception may be a missionary takes God with them to an area that doesn’t have God already.
Like- “Hello (different area of the world)!! America is here! Surprise!!! And look who I brought with me??…..Jesssuuuuus!!!” “Awe…..you…shouldn’t have…??”
Surely I was to pack a good pair of walking shoes…..some pictures…a durable coat…ranch dressing…..a bible……did I forget the big man upstairs??
Joking aside, the point of our discussion was to realize our aim is not to bring God with us; rather we are sent out to discover how God is already there and at work.
The congregation at St. Peter’s in London Colney did not need Marta the happy American missionary to bring Jesus. My experience attending worship this Sunday made that clearly evident.
Ya know that type of energy that keeps you anxiously excited while nervously inhabiting the pit of your stomach? That energy that creeps up before interviews, auditions, when getting lost, and when you know you’ve done something completely stupid and wrong that needs fixing…? I had that energy going to church on Sunday morning by myself? Am I dressed appropriately? Will they be able to peg me as an outsider? Would I be able to follow directions and actually find the church? Will my attempt at finding a happy Protestant counterpart to SPEC go awry?
Because this placement/community/country sometimes feels similar to home, those moments that remind me that I’m far from home sneak up and, well, produce that nervous “audition energy”.
Fortunately, I got to St. Peter’s early and had some time to survey my surroundings. There were happy over-involved church ladies in the back greeting me. (“Isn’t that speeecial??”) There were only a few others sitting in the 15-20 pews of the small congregation. There was an overly-welcoming and carefully designed and detailed bulletin. There were hymns I knew and loved. From there I can’t count how many times throughout that morning I thought to myself, “Awe….bless their hearts!!” (In true Sue Diehm fashion…thanks mom.) As 10am drew closer, in came the babies. Lots and lots of babies. I was a minority not because I was American but because I didn’t have a 0-3 yr. old on my hip. At about 9:55am, I looked down to my left and found a little toddler friend taking up occupancy next to me in the pew. She looked up at me with big beautiful blue eyes and I nearly teared up. Little sis proceeded to spit her pacifier onto the floor later picking it up to give to me. Before I could graciously grab it, her apologetic mother (who looked like Helen Hunt) came and whisked her away back to their pew a few rows back.
There service was lovingly and awesomely disheveled. Their female pastor doubles as an organist and the rest of the music is on a backing track controlled by a chap in the balcony. Babies crying and crawling and many other little incidents that made me giggle inside. The final anthem was Shine Jesus Shine; complete with a cheesy contemporary Christian backing track and a box of instruments for the children of the congregation to play. I had held back most of my tears throughout the service, but kids playing instruments is where I draw the line. I took it all in and happily cried as the 2 year old in front of me shook his upside down maraca with his chubby little fist.
As I witnessed a little baby named Ava being baptized; as I was invited to the Lord’s Supper for the first time since being here; as I was affectionately sought out after church by two women delighted to see a new SPEC face, it dawned on me. Beyond the ministry at SPEC, it was here at St. Peter’s that I discovered God already at work in the UK. Not because I’m equipped with more tools, wisdom, or faith than anyone I encounter this year. Not because of my own personal decisions or feelings in the pit of my stomach. Not because I brought God in a big ole package with a bow on top. But rather because he brought me here to discover, discern, learn, relate and love.
Another tidbit I will always remember from orientation strikes me as I reflect on St. Peter’s: “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you.” Thanks be to God for the love and grace I nervously stumbled upon at St. Peter’s on Sunday! I have been so enriched in so many ways this past month. I look forward to all the things God will continue to have in store for me during this Global Mission year and beyond.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
a very long week..
I think the title of this blog pretty much sums it up; this past week of work just seemed really long. Thanks to Labor Day the previous week, this was actually my first 40-hour week at Common Ground so it really was longer than what I was used to. At the same time, however, this week's feeling of endlessness had nothing to do with the number of hours I worked and everything to do with the fact that I actually started doing all of the things I'll be doing this year.
Coming into the program, I knew that my work would be intense. I'm working in an HIV center so many of our clients are HIV positive and/or have Hepatitis C and/or are injection drug users, etc. For me, in particular, I work with mostly homeless youth and young adults. Many of my clients are into hard drugs, some have kids, and a lot of them are kind of on the run from the police due to some minor infraction that turned into something much greater.
My week started off busily but still pretty low key. Because we receive a lot of government funding, we have to put records of every test we do into a state database (HIRS). Each test record includes basic client info (name, DOB, zip code, race/ethnicity, etc), the info from the lab slip (when the test was done, time it was done, temperature in the room, lot number, expiration date, etc), and then one or two forms that detail a client's sexual behavior, substance use, and STD history. Unfortunately, HIRS has been down since the beginning of July for some system changes and so no one in the office has been able to enter records for two and a half months. This week, however, we were once again able to put in records so we were trained on how to do that and given stacks of files to enter. It's not a bad job, though since I'm still new to it, it can be time consuming. Depending on how much information is in a particular record, it can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes to as much as 20 minutes. Sometimes clients don't fill things out completely correctly or HIRS still has some glitches, so I've had a couple of files take as much as 30 minutes to enter. Imagine doing that for two and a half months worth of files... Luckily, with a few of us working on it, we were able to get all the way through the July files this week and started on the August files.
Learning HIRS was actually really good because it gave me something to do (I probably spent 10+ hours this week on HIRS records), but it was the easy part of the week. One of the cool things about Common Ground is that we have several remote testing sites which include a high school and a drug/alcohol treatment center; this, in turn, allows us to reach a much larger population. Since I am the youth specialist in our prevention department, I will be in charge of the remote testing at Santa Monica High School (Samohi). So, on Thursday mornings for the next nine months or so, I will be doing HIV tests for Samohi students. I did not, however, know I would be doing this. Until this part Thursday, I hadn't even done an actual test but had just observed one of our more experienced counselors. So, I was taken over to Samohi on Thursday morning and given a room in which to test and then I was on my own. I was told it would probably be slow because it was the beginning of the year and that I probably should have brought a book. Well, that was completely incorrect. I actually ended up doing three tests! My first three tests. Ever.
I think the idea of testing at Samohi is GREAT. It makes the service so accessible to students who otherwise might not have the courage to go to a different, more public, testing center. In practice, however, it was a REALLY tough way to start my career in testing. The hardest part of testing at Samohi, at least for me, was that the kids are so young! I try to stay away from calling people kids because a lot of people find it kind of demeaning (plus, I'm only 22 and barely an adult myself), but that's really all these people were. Just kids. They were in kindergarten when 9/11 happened. They were toddlers when NSYNC and BSB broke onto the music scene.
It was so hard to sit in a room talking about sex, STDs, and HIV with these kids. The first test I did was for a girl who was so obviously scared and, although we talked for a while about her situation, there was little I could do to assuage her fears. I think that is when it really hit me how intense this year is going to be. It was a frustrating day and, to be perfectly honest, I'm still working on processing that experience.
Friday was another tough day; my co-worker who is in charge of our evening drop-in times was out sick so I had to lead drop-in by myself! I was so stressed about it all day. It ended up going fairly well, but it was still really hard because I haven't been there long enough to feel like a strong authority figure and so, had there been any big problems, I wouldn't have had a clue how to handle it.
Despite it being a really rough week, I do like my job. Even though testing at Samohi was really tough, it was also a really good experience because I felt like I could really help the kids over there because they're young and uninformed. They seemed more receptive to information than some older clients. And even though drop-in was tough, I know I can do it.
Sorry this is kind of ending abruptly, but I need to get some stuff done and get some sleep before the new weeks starts!
Peace,
Jordan
Coming into the program, I knew that my work would be intense. I'm working in an HIV center so many of our clients are HIV positive and/or have Hepatitis C and/or are injection drug users, etc. For me, in particular, I work with mostly homeless youth and young adults. Many of my clients are into hard drugs, some have kids, and a lot of them are kind of on the run from the police due to some minor infraction that turned into something much greater.
My week started off busily but still pretty low key. Because we receive a lot of government funding, we have to put records of every test we do into a state database (HIRS). Each test record includes basic client info (name, DOB, zip code, race/ethnicity, etc), the info from the lab slip (when the test was done, time it was done, temperature in the room, lot number, expiration date, etc), and then one or two forms that detail a client's sexual behavior, substance use, and STD history. Unfortunately, HIRS has been down since the beginning of July for some system changes and so no one in the office has been able to enter records for two and a half months. This week, however, we were once again able to put in records so we were trained on how to do that and given stacks of files to enter. It's not a bad job, though since I'm still new to it, it can be time consuming. Depending on how much information is in a particular record, it can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes to as much as 20 minutes. Sometimes clients don't fill things out completely correctly or HIRS still has some glitches, so I've had a couple of files take as much as 30 minutes to enter. Imagine doing that for two and a half months worth of files... Luckily, with a few of us working on it, we were able to get all the way through the July files this week and started on the August files.
Learning HIRS was actually really good because it gave me something to do (I probably spent 10+ hours this week on HIRS records), but it was the easy part of the week. One of the cool things about Common Ground is that we have several remote testing sites which include a high school and a drug/alcohol treatment center; this, in turn, allows us to reach a much larger population. Since I am the youth specialist in our prevention department, I will be in charge of the remote testing at Santa Monica High School (Samohi). So, on Thursday mornings for the next nine months or so, I will be doing HIV tests for Samohi students. I did not, however, know I would be doing this. Until this part Thursday, I hadn't even done an actual test but had just observed one of our more experienced counselors. So, I was taken over to Samohi on Thursday morning and given a room in which to test and then I was on my own. I was told it would probably be slow because it was the beginning of the year and that I probably should have brought a book. Well, that was completely incorrect. I actually ended up doing three tests! My first three tests. Ever.
I think the idea of testing at Samohi is GREAT. It makes the service so accessible to students who otherwise might not have the courage to go to a different, more public, testing center. In practice, however, it was a REALLY tough way to start my career in testing. The hardest part of testing at Samohi, at least for me, was that the kids are so young! I try to stay away from calling people kids because a lot of people find it kind of demeaning (plus, I'm only 22 and barely an adult myself), but that's really all these people were. Just kids. They were in kindergarten when 9/11 happened. They were toddlers when NSYNC and BSB broke onto the music scene.
It was so hard to sit in a room talking about sex, STDs, and HIV with these kids. The first test I did was for a girl who was so obviously scared and, although we talked for a while about her situation, there was little I could do to assuage her fears. I think that is when it really hit me how intense this year is going to be. It was a frustrating day and, to be perfectly honest, I'm still working on processing that experience.
Friday was another tough day; my co-worker who is in charge of our evening drop-in times was out sick so I had to lead drop-in by myself! I was so stressed about it all day. It ended up going fairly well, but it was still really hard because I haven't been there long enough to feel like a strong authority figure and so, had there been any big problems, I wouldn't have had a clue how to handle it.
Despite it being a really rough week, I do like my job. Even though testing at Samohi was really tough, it was also a really good experience because I felt like I could really help the kids over there because they're young and uninformed. They seemed more receptive to information than some older clients. And even though drop-in was tough, I know I can do it.
Sorry this is kind of ending abruptly, but I need to get some stuff done and get some sleep before the new weeks starts!
Peace,
Jordan
Sunday, September 13, 2009
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, Hollywood
I know I just posted last night, but I wanted to take a minute to write about how much I love our new church!
One of the great things about EUIP is that we actually live at a church and so we're very closely linked with a spiritual community. We occupy the upstairs of the parish house on the campus of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Hollywood. Downstairs is the main church office as well as a preschool by day. St. Stephen's has two preschools on campus (one Head State preschool and a fine arts pre-school) and also has a theater company on campus, called Write Act. Overall, it's just a really great place to be.
Today after church, there was an informal ministry fair where we all sat around and talked about the different ministries of the church and how to get involved. There are a lot of different ministries at St. Stephen's, from the ride ministry (giving elderly people a lift to church) to altar guild (setting up for the service). I'm hoping to get involved in a couple of different ministries: baking communion bread and working in the community garden we're trying to start. I think some of my roommates are going to be working with the Sunday School and youth group ministries. There really is something for everyone.
The really awesome thing I want to highlight, though, is that nearly 100 percent of St. Stephen's parishioners are involved in at least one of the different ministries (and many are involved in more than one)! I've seen plenty of churches where most people just go to a service once a week but contribute very little else to the life of the church. Especially in small churches with tiny budgets, parishioners are needed to help out with different things, plus it really helps build a strong church community. I'm really looking forward to my involvement with St. Stephen's this year; it's so refreshing to be a part of such a thriving, giving church community!
One of the great things about EUIP is that we actually live at a church and so we're very closely linked with a spiritual community. We occupy the upstairs of the parish house on the campus of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Hollywood. Downstairs is the main church office as well as a preschool by day. St. Stephen's has two preschools on campus (one Head State preschool and a fine arts pre-school) and also has a theater company on campus, called Write Act. Overall, it's just a really great place to be.
Today after church, there was an informal ministry fair where we all sat around and talked about the different ministries of the church and how to get involved. There are a lot of different ministries at St. Stephen's, from the ride ministry (giving elderly people a lift to church) to altar guild (setting up for the service). I'm hoping to get involved in a couple of different ministries: baking communion bread and working in the community garden we're trying to start. I think some of my roommates are going to be working with the Sunday School and youth group ministries. There really is something for everyone.
The really awesome thing I want to highlight, though, is that nearly 100 percent of St. Stephen's parishioners are involved in at least one of the different ministries (and many are involved in more than one)! I've seen plenty of churches where most people just go to a service once a week but contribute very little else to the life of the church. Especially in small churches with tiny budgets, parishioners are needed to help out with different things, plus it really helps build a strong church community. I'm really looking forward to my involvement with St. Stephen's this year; it's so refreshing to be a part of such a thriving, giving church community!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
emotional tourism
I've felt like a tourist a lot lately. Moving to a new place always leaves me feeling like that for a little while, and in a city like Los Angeles (particularly where we live in Hollywood) where there actually are tons of tourists all the time, it's really easy to get caught up in it. But I've now been in the city for a few weeks and while I'll admit that a few weeks isn't an extremely long period of time, it's actually starting to feel like I'm an Angeleno and not just a tourist. I've figured out the subway, used the bus, and driven not only through LA but on the freeways around the city. I've found grocery stores and thrift stores, a couple of bars I'll probably frequent, and a few other hangouts.
I was so happy when I realized I no longer felt so much like a tourist (I still feel that way a little, but the feeling is going away a bit every day...), but this week I've experienced feelings relating to tourism again, but this time I feel like an emotional tourist. My housemate Adam, who also works with me, used this phrase the other day and I think it really fits what I'm feeling in regard to my job right now.
To begin, let me say that I really do like my job. The people are great and I can see already that Common Ground provides so many great services. One of the main parts of my job is working with the Homeless Youth Peer Education program (HYPE). HYPE is three evenings a week; Common Ground stays open and we provide food, a place to hang out, clothing, counseling, needle exchange, internet access, and various other services. As great as Common Ground and HYPE are, however, I feel like an emotional tourist. So many of the clients, particularly with HYPE, are people who come in all the time for services. They've built relationships with the other people who work there but so far, I'm just an outsider. I don't know them and I don't know there stories. It will take time to build rapport and strong relationships. In the meanwhile, I kind of feel like I don't belong. Like a tourist going to a new place, I can really enjoy my time at Common Ground and learn a lot, but for a while I'm just a tourist.
It's a strange period of transition. I really love what I'm doing and I look forward to the day that I feel like I've built really solid relationships with my clients the way many of my co-workers have. I've now worked three evenings at HYPE and it gets easier every shift. I'm sure that soon I'll stop being an emotional tourist; like with going to a new place, it's all about stepping out of your comfort zone.
Other than feeling like an emotional tourist, I'm totally loving my job. I've been doing a lot of needle exchanges and observed my first HIV test/counseling session. After a few more observations, I'll be out on my own. I'm realizing already that this is going to be an intense year, but I have a supportive staff at work, great roommates, and excellent family and friends (even if they are scattered around the world).
Peace,
Jordan
I was so happy when I realized I no longer felt so much like a tourist (I still feel that way a little, but the feeling is going away a bit every day...), but this week I've experienced feelings relating to tourism again, but this time I feel like an emotional tourist. My housemate Adam, who also works with me, used this phrase the other day and I think it really fits what I'm feeling in regard to my job right now.
To begin, let me say that I really do like my job. The people are great and I can see already that Common Ground provides so many great services. One of the main parts of my job is working with the Homeless Youth Peer Education program (HYPE). HYPE is three evenings a week; Common Ground stays open and we provide food, a place to hang out, clothing, counseling, needle exchange, internet access, and various other services. As great as Common Ground and HYPE are, however, I feel like an emotional tourist. So many of the clients, particularly with HYPE, are people who come in all the time for services. They've built relationships with the other people who work there but so far, I'm just an outsider. I don't know them and I don't know there stories. It will take time to build rapport and strong relationships. In the meanwhile, I kind of feel like I don't belong. Like a tourist going to a new place, I can really enjoy my time at Common Ground and learn a lot, but for a while I'm just a tourist.
It's a strange period of transition. I really love what I'm doing and I look forward to the day that I feel like I've built really solid relationships with my clients the way many of my co-workers have. I've now worked three evenings at HYPE and it gets easier every shift. I'm sure that soon I'll stop being an emotional tourist; like with going to a new place, it's all about stepping out of your comfort zone.
Other than feeling like an emotional tourist, I'm totally loving my job. I've been doing a lot of needle exchanges and observed my first HIV test/counseling session. After a few more observations, I'll be out on my own. I'm realizing already that this is going to be an intense year, but I have a supportive staff at work, great roommates, and excellent family and friends (even if they are scattered around the world).
Peace,
Jordan
U2Charist
My roommates and I were invited out to a U2Charist here in Chicago. 3 of us were able to attend. I have never listened to a lot of U2 music, but I knew the general premise of the service and could definitely get on board with the idea. For those that are unaware about 5 years ago an Episcopalian woman (congrats Jordan) decided to create a worship service using the songs of the rock band U2 to create a theme of social justice. U2 has been gracious enough to allow these type of worship services to continue as long as all the money donated goes to an organization that is furthering the UN Millennium Development Goals. (http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/) I was lucky enough to be invited to a service with a live tribute band. I had a really great time, now granted I know it would've been even better if I really knew the songs, but even so just the general atmosphere was fantastic. Also this was a way I could honor the memory of 9/11/2001 while still recognizing all of the terror this day and our country has caused worldwide.
Several thoughts occurred to me as I was participating in this goal. One in particular still sticks with me. The church we were worshiping was Fourth Presbyterian right across from the John Hancock Center down on Michigan Ave. As my roommate Bret put it, it was a "serious sanctuary." The sanctuary was beautiful. A very regal place. http://www.fourthchurch.org/worship2.html That's a picture of the sanctuary. As I listened to the lyrics of a modern day rock band in "God's house" and stared up at the stained glass window of Jesus with his arms outstretched I felt a true sense of awe that the church, the community, Christ could be open in a way that really allows us to reach people where they are. Now a U2Charist is not going to appeal to everyone, but I was so impressed by these opportunities that the Christian community has created to reach out and really speak to the message of the Gospel.
Speaking of the Gospel the short message given this quote sticks with me, "If you think the Gospel is about anything but changing the world then you're mistaken." Another important quote from the evening was given during the benediction, "Go out and remember who you are, remember who God is, know who God is calling you to be."
As we left I saw two young individuals and who appeared to be a mother with her two children (probably around the ages of 8 and 6) sitting around a bench outside the church, on the bench was the remnants of a McDonald's dinner. As I walked outside I over heard the young man talking to the woman about who Christ was. He was saying, "yeah, that's what we're trying to do, love people because he loved people. He tells us that's how we're supposed to live, just loving each other." The other young woman was talking to the boy just about his life. I was reminded so wholly of the way that Christ reaches out to us and how Christ reaches out to others through us. I think this is something I've been forgetting lately.
This is a song we turned into our prayer. Let it be your prayer to:
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Lose Control
Greetings blog readers!
My name is Marta Diehm- recent Capital grad serving through the ELCA's Young Adults in Global Mission program in the UK. I am living and working with a youth retreat ministry outside of London. Here is one of my latest musings about a particularly poignant moment from this week:
I lost my control yesterday. My laptop was relaxing comfortably on my desk when my deordorant stick fell from the overhead shelf and landed on the keyboard, therefore popping off the bottom left-hand corner CTRL key.
After a vailant yet unsuccessful effort from my friend Anthony to pop it back on, I am without a control key.
I've lost my control. Interesting indeed.
Ever since my wildly eventful and interesing YAGM Discernment weekend that led me to the UK, there has been many-a small reminders of God's presence and his work and plan throughout this year. I know this year will continue throwing me all kinds of surprises, challenges, joys, and lessons that remind me that its ok to just be. Its ok not to have a plan. Its ok to let go...and that God is certainly good!
I was later told that there is a 2nd CTRL key to the right of the spacebar. Good to know its there, I suppose. But I'm gonna try to live without it.
--Marta
My name is Marta Diehm- recent Capital grad serving through the ELCA's Young Adults in Global Mission program in the UK. I am living and working with a youth retreat ministry outside of London. Here is one of my latest musings about a particularly poignant moment from this week:
I lost my control yesterday. My laptop was relaxing comfortably on my desk when my deordorant stick fell from the overhead shelf and landed on the keyboard, therefore popping off the bottom left-hand corner CTRL key.
After a vailant yet unsuccessful effort from my friend Anthony to pop it back on, I am without a control key.
I've lost my control. Interesting indeed.
Ever since my wildly eventful and interesing YAGM Discernment weekend that led me to the UK, there has been many-a small reminders of God's presence and his work and plan throughout this year. I know this year will continue throwing me all kinds of surprises, challenges, joys, and lessons that remind me that its ok to just be. Its ok not to have a plan. Its ok to let go...and that God is certainly good!
I was later told that there is a 2nd CTRL key to the right of the spacebar. Good to know its there, I suppose. But I'm gonna try to live without it.
--Marta
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